Swedish Bliss takes dedication...

Seems that Sweden brings out the bloggin' in me because here it is about 10 months after my last post, I am prepping to go to Sweden and am feeling the need to write again. Another trip to Sweden. Seems every year we say we are not going back the next year and then voila! there we back again one year later. I see Sweden more often than my own sister in San Fran and we are just two states away! In a way, this time it's different though. I am the one who volunteered this trip. I'm the one who planned it and pushed for it. I think that my husband would be perfectly okay without us going but you see, fair is fair. I am a very fair person. Maybe Sweden has eeked in on me and I am feeling the need for equality but my son doesn't speak Swedish fluently and my daughter does. He should have the same equal rights to his heritage as his sister, right? So back we go. I am putting them into school because I know that will be the fastest way for him to learn. He is excited. The new school isn't phasing him at ALL. My daughter is returning to the same school she left a few years back and isn't worried at all either. So if they aren't worried then why am I? Truth be told I am tormented by this trip. And have been on edge and unvoluntarily crabby with my family. The people who deserve it the least. Two and a half months of being a country that I have to admit depresses me. What was I thinking? Why does it get to me? I can't explain it. Is it the air? (Actually the air is really great there). I tell myself over and over what other people tell me. "It's a wonderful opportunity for the kids!" and "How lucky for them!" Their eyes light up as mine go dull trying to fake my way through yet another of those conversations. Yes lucky. But it is INCREDIBLY lonely for me over there. All women work. There are no stay at home mom's to kids past the age of 2 or so. Nobody understands my role. (Don't know how many times I have asked SOOOOO....What exactly do you do at home????) The kids are in school shorter than here but I miss them terribly. SO I will just blog instead. That will keep me company. So if you stop by please do leave a comment. You have no idea how much it will mean to me. In the end I should feel lucky, blessed, blissed because I am. I guess I will have to be happy knowing that I am providing a bliss experience for my kids.